Do you ever have times in your life where you just feel like everything is going wrong like you’re on an insane roller coaster that keeps your world upside down?
Lately, I have been feeling that way, and let me tell you…I need to get off this ride! From stressing over all of our children and the current situations that they are in, to obsessing over some of the annoying actions of my husband; I’ve been longing for the easier days.
Don’t get me wrong, we are beyond blessed and I know that our lives could be so much worse. But for some reason, I just can’t seem to shake some of the feelings that have been occurring in my world.
After doing some self-reflection, I have come to realize that I am quite the control freak! Yes, I admit it! I want things my way and when it doesn’t happen, well look out world because Carrie is about to go on a rampage. For example, mornings are the worst for me. I always have this mental image in my head that I will wake up and my household will run as smooth as a baby’s bottom, or like those Disney movies where the birds are magically getting the characters dressed and ready. When in all actuality, it’s like WWIII in my house and I turn into everything I don’t want to be. Then I find myself hating the way I behaved, and I sit and stew and am so upset with the person I became. Evenings can be just as disastrous when an unexpected pick up is needed, or another kid needs supplies for a project that is due the very next day. I just want to scream, “C’mon people! Get your life together!” And of course, sometimes I do. (Sorry fam!)
The one thing that I have learned in my years of parenting is that I am not in control EVER! I can’t control things like my husband forgetting to tell me that the BM and he worked out that night’s transportation and then I find myself wondering where the kids are when I go to pick them up. I can’t control when I asked my stepson to clean his room and notice that it is not clean when he’s just left for his mom’s house. I can’t control when I remind my son to make up that test at school and he forgets, which then results in him taking a zero. I am not in control AT ALL!
Thankfully though, there are some things that I can control. Those mornings when I am about to lose it, I can control how I react. I can pray, meditate, ignore, or throw a quiet temper tantrum in my room that no one else will see. Anything to alleviate those obsessive nagging thoughts. I can go for a run, go to a Crossfit class, or take a yoga class and leave all of those thoughts behind. I can talk to a friend and get out all of my complaints and take their advice (if I like it ;-)). I can crank out the tunes and sing at the top of my lungs to get rid of all those compulsive and maddening thoughts. Anything to just be the best me I can possibly be, and get out of my place of wanting to bang my head against the wall.
My best advice? Make sure you take time for yourself, you amazing stepparents. This parenting gig can definitely bring out the best of you, and unfortunately the worst. Try to be less controlling and find the positives that you have been blessed with. Your mind is a powerful thing. Be sure to fill it with positive thoughts and you will notice that your life will start to change. There will be challenges along the way, but how you handle them will determine your success!
Carrie Ellis-Berg has been an elementary school teacher for ten years. Together as a blended family, she and her husband have four children. After realizing the need for children’s books on blending, she felt called to share fun and exciting stories that would help parents and children learn, grow and adapt to their new family structure. She hopes that her stories will foster and strengthen relationships within the home.