Have you ever looked yourself in the mirror and thought, what is going on? What am I becoming? I started looking at a version of myself that I didn’t recognize. Have you ever felt outraged over someone else’s behavior and became obsessive with the injustices? That became the norm in my life. Have you ever held onto anger that made you feel bitter inside? That was becoming common practice and I knew it was time for a change.
Learning about energies has been essential in my process of letting go. A mentor of mine introduced me to a powerful exercise of identifying your feelings to honor release energy as well as focusing on breathing. My mentor created a human energy “decoder” which connects emotions to energies. An example is feeling pissed off, which is an anger energy. Honoring and identifying your emotion allows you to release the energy in a healthy way.
I recently went through a powerful exercise of letting go. I regained control of my power and let go of anger, frustrations, resentment, and hate. These emotions were in the driver’s seat and I was no longer in control. I wasn’t okay with that. I’m normally a happy, positive, loving, out-going person, but I started to notice more and more anger creep its way into my energy. I started utilizing our punching bag a lot more while blasting Drowning Pool. This was a new side to me I wasn’t crazy about and I wanted to restore the real me. I knew I had to take action.
Yesterday I wrote a letter to my husband’s ex-wife. I had no intention of sending it, but writing the letter itself released a number of demons connected to this high-conflict person we’ve been dealing with for years. The letter addressed the many instances where she caused drama, had temper tantrums and created conflict out of nothing. I addressed an instance and then connected it to how I felt, therefore releasing the energy.
For example: When you said, “let me guess you’re going to do the immature thing and blame others for it being exposed. You’re a great fit to the family,” I felt insulted.
Sounds unnatural, but it is an effective technique.
The letter turned out to be five pages long. My husband and I drove to a spot that is meaningful to us. I read the letter out loud and then I burned it. I watched each ember turn to ash and then disappear into nothing.
The last line read: So sianara, adios, f#*k off, and goodbye! Today is the day your power dies.
It was a very cathartic experience for me. I finally let go of those negative emotions, I honored my feelings, and I took my power back.
I learned I had the power all along and I was always in control.
Now I choose to not allow negativity, complaining, whining, temper tantrums, attacks, and conflict infect my energy. I have the power to be the happy, positive, loving, out-going person I’ve always been.
I took my power back. Now I’m back in the driver’s seat.
Nicole DiLorenzo is an educator, mentor, wife, and stepmom of two girls. Her passion for teaching has spilt into the stepfamily dynamic, wanting to help others navigate their role. She runs a blog which helps her therapeutically deal with the many blessings and challenges within the stepfamily dynamic. She enjoys yoga, dog walks, riding motorcycles, vacations, and living a balanced life. Visit www.stepmomwarrior.com for more information.