stepfamily dynamics


Why My Stepmomming is Different to My Momming

Someone said to me a few months ago; ‘I catch glimpses of myself, which is nice’ as we discussed family life and how it’s possible to be so absorbed in it you can fade away, almost entirely. The sentiment of this rang true and I felt uneasy having settled for […]

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Woman feeling sad

When Old Wounds Start Weeping…

This is a post I wrote over a year ago. I thought it would be interesting to revisit it and share it with a wider audience. Since I wrote this I have become even more aware of the role old wounds play in creating conflict in our current relationships. It’s […]


Is It Time to Leave?

The number of second marriages that end is about 70%. It’s a shocking statistic. It also gives some context as to why this step-family journey can feel so challenging and fraught. It is hard. It is harder than two single people without children building a family together. It takes work […]

Woman Thinking

Couple Heart Hands

Why Your Intimate Relationship Is the Foundation for Your Stepfamily Success

Stepfamily success relies on the strength of the step-couple. According to Susan Wisdom, who wrote “Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today’s Blended Family”, the success of the stepcouple relies on how well the couple connects, communicates, co-parents in their own home. How well the couple clarifies how […]


Madrastra – The Evil Stepmother in Latino Culture

At the beginning of my relationship with my husband, he told me not to use the word ‘madrastra’ (stepmother, in Spanish) because it sounded ‘really bad’. Never did I think to look it up in a dictionary until now, 7 years later. What I found shocked me so much that […]

Stepmother

Pensive Woman

Is My Relationship Broken Beyond Repair?

We have some dining chairs that have seen better days. I’ve spent months trying to justify replacing them with something new and fancy. Between my scrooge-like and greenie tendencies, buying new chairs when we have perfectly serviceable ones is a hard sell. Too hard, it seems. So I decided that […]


“I Didn’t Sign Up for This!” Six Tips for Step-Parenting During a Pandemic

I’m writing this from the corner of my closet, wedged between shoes and a stack of purses, trying to keep the laptop from sliding off my knees as I reposition the suitcase currently digging into my back. I’m sitting in this unusual location because I’ve discovered it’s the only place […]

Woman holding head