I am a true believer in being the boss of my own happiness. I oversee how I feel and no one else can have that power over me. That said, I am also a Stepmom. There are a lot of obstacles and challenges to being the boss. External circumstances can be difficult to navigate. This blended family life tests you in ways that you never thought possible. I’ve spent many nights angry, frustrated and defeated over things that I had no control over and maybe cared about a little too much. I put the focus on things that didn’t deserve my time and energy.
I decided that I was going to put the focus on ME. I was going to reset my life!
I felt my health declining, depression creeping in and I was ready to call it quits with the man that I loved more than anything. I decided to take over and become CEO of my life. I learned a few stepmom hacks to happiness that I’d like to share with you!
Say NO when you don’t want to do something.
It’s difficult, I understand. As Stepmoms we are constantly trying to fix things we didn’t break, or we try too hard with our stepkids to get them to accept us. Learning to say no is a necessary skill to have in blended family life. Practice it and you’ll see how freeing it is to say no without having a bad conscience or worrying about what other people will think.
Create your own space.
Create your own personal haven in your home. Preferably one that has a door with a lock! Fill your space with things that relax you and make you feel safe. If you don’t have space in your home, choose a favourite café that you like to go to. A safe place that you can retreat to when things are driving you crazy. Read a book or enjoy a coffee and do some journaling. It’s always nice to have a go-to spot to retreat to.
Take up exercise (Boxing is a good one!)
Negative emotions are best dealt with by getting physically active. Take out any frustrations you have on the treadmill or in the gym. If you must picture someone’s face on that boxing bag, do it! Getting outside and going for a walk by yourself is a great way to bring calmness. Be mindful and enjoy the sounds that you hear. BREATHE!
Be proud of who you are.
Be openly proud of being a stepmom. Other people may not understand the struggles you deal with, but that’s ok. You can be openly proud of who you are and what you do for your family. Being proud is not being selfish. It is self-empowerment. You do amazing things every day!! If others don’t recognize them, praise yourself and know that you are doing the right thing for your family!
Call on your Stepmom friends!!
There is no better therapy for women than being with other women! There is a lot of support on social media now for Stepmoms. From Facebook to Twitter, you can join the community of stepmoms that will always be there for you. If you need to vent or have a situation that you would like advice on, you can find us online! Stepmoms are an amazing group of women who are there to support one another on a level I have never experienced before. Join us today! 😊
Aimee Allen is known all across Social Media as “The Happy Stepmom”. Happily married to her husband Mike, she is both a biological Mom to her son (18) and daughter (16) and also a stepmom to Mike’s son and two daughters (15, 11, 9). She has made amazing relationships with other stepmoms that she has met over the internet and loves to chat with them daily. She feels that it is extremely important to make connections with other stepmoms as communication is crucial in this complex role. Her mission is to help other stepmoms understand that they too can be happy with stepfamily life despite the unique challenges that they face. A child of divorced parents herself, Aimee never realized the challenges of being a stepmom until she became one. “I was always focused on the challenges of being the kid with divorced parents. I never thought about what my stepmom was going through all those years.”Aimee can be found on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and has recently launched her new blog! Visit Aimee at www.thehappystepmom.org.