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Surviving the Court Process as the Second Wife

7 years; that’s how long my spouse and I have been together.  10 months; that’s how long we’ve officially been married.  18 months; that’s how long we’ve been in court to modify the original divorce decree with my husband’s ex-wife. When we started this process back in December 2015, we were a mere six months […]

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What Every Second Wife Needs to Hear

The most romantic statement Gabe ever made to me didn’t happen on our wedding day.  He didn’t declare it at the base of the Eiffel Tower, or pen it in a greeting card.  The sentence caught me by surprise as we were out to dinner on a rare weeknight alone. It was around the holidays, a particularly tough […]

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The Pros of Being a Stepmom

Lord knows there are PLENTY of grievances to express when it comes to the topic of stepmotherhood. However, I was in the mood to talk about something uplifting so I decided to make a list of the pros of being a stepmom. There have to be some right? Otherwise, what the heck am I doing with my life?! To […]

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Becoming a Successful Stepcouple

Lately, in the work I do outside of coaching stepmoms in a support group, I have seen many stepcouple relationships come to an end.  The statistics for second time marriages ending up in divorce tears at my heart – up to 70%. In her article “Lessons Learned from Stepfamilies” written in Psychology Today, Virginia Rutter […]

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Stepmoms: Quit Comparing Yourself to His Ex!

I’ve ALWAYS obsessed about comparing myself to my husband’s ex and today I’m making it public.  I fixated on her looks, parenting skills, her previous and current relationship with my husband, her hatred for me, and the list goes on.  This preoccupation has taken much of my time, happiness and health.  Am I the only […]

Teenagers Packing Read more

Coming Home: Custody Transition Do’s and Don’ts

Over the years, Billy and I have shared custody many different ways.  We’ve bird nested, alternated every two days, spent time in a 2/5/5/2, and most recently, adopted a week to week schedule.  While when the children change homes has varied throughout our coparenting journey, how they feel coming home on transition day has not. Transition day is […]

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“You Chose to Marry Into That.” Statements that Perpetuate the Negative Stigma of Being a Stepmom

As a stepmom, people often make assumptions and judgements about what your role should be in your stepfamily life. Most of these people haven’t walked in your shoes and don’t understand the many complexities of the stepmom role. Strangers, coworkers, even friends and family may have an idea of what being a stepparent means and try to […]

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A Stepmom’s Guide to Being a Supportive Partner

It is easy to be a loving, supportive and kind partner when you are comfortable with how things are going. It’s easy to feel safe and secure when your partner is making parenting decisions that are in alignment with your values. But how supportive are you when he makes a decision with which you don’t agree? Do […]

Stepmom Friends Read more

Stepmoms Are Not Most Women

My husband and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary.  We’ve been together for almost 7 years.  Our marriage has been challenging due to his ex and her instabilities, which inevitably trickle down to us. Nevertheless, each year we like to reflect on the past year and how our marriage has improved. This year I […]

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How Stepmoms Can Cope With ‘Biological Jealousy’

You’re not their “real” mom. As a stepmother, you know this. In fact, it’s painfully clear more often than not. No matter how many times you’ve made a pact with yourself to “let it go,” you keep coming back for more. You keep coming back because you made a commitment to this child or children who call you “stepmom”. […]