Individual Hurt, Our Collective Good

Stepfamily Concept

Enjoy the journey and adventure with your stepfamily, starting with you. YOU are the one that has the power to create the life and family you have always dreamed of. The pain is to season that passionate, powerful person you were destined to be. Listen as we share our own journey so you can see, believe and know that you are not alone. You are here for a purpose bigger than ourselves. Experience, embrace and enjoy the beauty of the scars, the brokenness and the power that has always been within you waiting for this moment to shine through. 

Scenarios might look and feel different, but when going through pain in any form, it hurts like crazy! Even though it is possible to find relief by breathing through the “contraction of life it takes time for the epidural to set in. In other words, being open and honest with ourselves means allowing the pain to guide us to our truest purpose, our healing and the root of the pain we feel. We realized that to SHIFT to a different reality, to the reality we WANTED we had to S.avor H.ell I.ntentionally F.OR T.RIUMPH both in ourselves and in our stepfamily. We believe that a lot of the reasons that we respond to circumstances in a certain way are the beliefs we were told and understood as we were growing up. We are a stepfamily that struggled for years looking for answers outside of ourselves. Never realizing the potential that we tucked away believing it would take others to change our circumstance, our nightmare. WE ARE the ones in the dream, the ones that opened our eyes to see with our hearts, rather than our minds. 

Casey’s Quiet Power pierced through to my soul and I would say to him, “you scare me,” because I was afraid of being silent. I was always told that I was the loud, large Yamile and I believed I had to fall suit to it especially when I didn’t feel like I belonged in the groups of people that I grew up with. I learned that my size and my loudness ARE my superpowers, but that it doesn’t have to overtake me nor my personality. Just like Spiderman doesn’t shoot out webs when he is Peter Parker nor even all of the time when he IS Spiderman, I could learn how to “be still. He used his powers when he WANTED to, even though at first it was a wreck and he was all over the place. We all have this type of experience where we find out something about ourselves and start to question what and why it is there for. If it is to serve you and the masses, look at cultivating it in joy, love and peace. If it doesn’t serve you nor anyone else, you CAN let it go. Getting quiet I thought was bad because my mind would criticize me on all the things I did and all the things I shoulda done. My mind was and sometimes still is always running especially when I don’t get grounded. The more I practice being quiet and becoming conscious of my thoughts, my actions start reflecting my inner power. Even with the past that I have had, it is all about the present, and what I want for my life now and in my stepfamily. 

My Powerful Purpose intimidated Casey, hear why in his own words: 

“It wasn’t until I stepped outside of my comfort zone and joined my wife in her loudness and free spirit that I realized I was hiding my own greatness for fear of what others would say. Even one of her friends told me that she was going to be too much for me. She said that Yamile needed someone that could handle her wildness especially after all of her heartache. The fear I had, came from family, therapists and teachers. They all agreed that my learning disability and depression would be with me my whole life. I played along, allowed my mom, special ed teacher and regular ed teachers to put me in the lowest functioning classes where I didn’t do too much. Twice a week, I allowed the nurses to prepare me for ECTs, Electroconvulsive therapy, as a young teen because I couldn’t get a grip on my depression. I was diagnosed with disorders that if in fact, I had them today I would HAVE to be on psychotic medication for a lifetime and I take nothing now and have been off of meds for over 15 years.

Just because we hear someone’s truth doesn’t mean it is supposed to be our truth. The older I got, the more I started realizing that I had a purpose, but didn’t know what it was. Some people would encourage me that I had a calling in my life, especially those that saw me play baseball. That was the only thing that I saw I was good at until my elbow surgery, and that’s when the depression hit me even more. When I met Yamile, she scared and excited me all at once. She was a free-spirited, loud, procrastinator, who would plan things at the last minute. I remember when we were dating one Friday morning she called me and asked if I wanted to go to Florida with her and a friend, a 12-hour trip and we left that afternoon. She seemed to have more fun than I ever had before. I took a chance, I wanted to be with her and go towards the pain of exposing my own truth because I wanted the joy that she portrayed. It was scary, I got angry many times and I struggled with our relationship because I was learning about myself. I thought it was her and her children that were causing me heartache. Her annoyances, actually her differences, became what I needed to heal from my past, it was the salt to the gaping wound that I had bandaged up and tried to cover up. I am not perfect, I continue to grow, but I am a way better person than I used to be, loving myself through it” 

We learned that what was annoying or contrast to our individual belief systems, was the lesson we each had and HAVE for each other. The same we found when dealing with our bio, stepchildren, exes, in-laws and society. Everyone and every situation is our classroom, good or indifferent, we just have to be open to hear and breathe through the contraction of the life lesson we are being taught. 


Yamile & Casey McBrideCasey and Yamile McBride are the founders of McBride SOMOS Consulting a Blended and Step Family group where they guide families to reignite the peace, joy and love they long for. SOMOS means WE ARE. WE ARE whole, SOMOS love, WE ARE united, SOMOS capable of breaking patterns that do not suit us, nor our children. WE choose to create our own reality. If you are ready to be at peace regardless of what situation is going on around you join our FREE Facebook group @ConsciousStepFamilies where we share HOW we work on becoming collectively conscious for ourselves, our children and the community we live in.