Stepfamily reading Read more

The Importance of Structure and Consistency in the Lives of Children

Through my own experience with my stepdaughters, and with many years in the education system, I have learned the value of structure and consistency for children. Learnersdictionary.com defines structure as, “the quality of something that is carefully planned, organized, and controlled.” Structure allows children to feel safe. According to Aha Parenting, “Structure and routines teach kids how […]

Smiling Stepmom Thinking Read more

Suggestions, Opinions and Control

Stepfamily life doesn’t feel natural. It’s a blending of individuals who wouldn’t be navigating family life together. It is undefined, yet we have biological roles to play. Some fall into the roles easier than others and some never do. For us stepmoms we try to find our way through this nebulous place every minute of […]

Stepmom kissing the sun Read more

Light at the End of the Tunnel

You probably feel like there are days that you are alone and that no one could possibly understand what your life is like. That you’ve stopped complaining about the little things and just go through the motions. You wonder if you’ll ever be seen or if your opinion really matters. You wonder if you slipped […]

Stepmom Thinking Read more

Living in the Shadow

You are going to have good days and you are going to have bad days. It’s part of being human. In your stepfamily you may feel more of the extremes than anywhere else in your life. Some days you will feel like you are queen of the world and everything is aligned and in order. […]

Parents and Children Read more

Sharing the Love

With the birth of my little girl three months ago, I’ve reflected a lot on families and family dynamics; in between breastfeeding, changing diapers and reading “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?” of course. And I’ve come to realize something. Some of the biggest challenges of steplife boil down to the fact that […]

Mother and adult daughter Read more

All Mothers Matter

I watched my grandmother die today. She was nearly 93, at the end of a long and storied life, and she had no pain. My mother and I were with her, alone together in the room as she left us. In offering condolences, the hospice workers commented on how sweet she was, how kind and […]