Stepmom under pressure over stepchildren Read more

Why Stepparenting Can Be Harder Than Parenting

A common expectation from divorced dads is that their partner will step in and parent their children. They might think that if their partner spends more time with the child, a bond will occur quickly and they’ll be a “real” family. But this can often backfire, as there are many challenges a stepparent faces that […]

Stepmom Thinking Read more

Living in the Shadow

You are going to have good days and you are going to have bad days. It’s part of being human. In your stepfamily you may feel more of the extremes than anywhere else in your life. Some days you will feel like you are queen of the world and everything is aligned and in order. […]

Parents and Children Read more

Sharing the Love

With the birth of my little girl three months ago, I’ve reflected a lot on families and family dynamics; in between breastfeeding, changing diapers and reading “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?” of course. And I’ve come to realize something. Some of the biggest challenges of steplife boil down to the fact that […]

Mother and adult daughter Read more

All Mothers Matter

I watched my grandmother die today. She was nearly 93, at the end of a long and storied life, and she had no pain. My mother and I were with her, alone together in the room as she left us. In offering condolences, the hospice workers commented on how sweet she was, how kind and […]

Child giving flowers to stepmom Read more

Mothering Day

Mother’s Day is coming up and I have lovely memories of celebrating my grandmother and mother on this special day. These women graciously and selflessly mothered me in many ways and they deserved to be recognized, at least, on this one day carved out for them. I would put on a lovely dress and we […]

Parents reading to children Read more

Fitting in as a Stepmom on Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day approaches I have been reflecting on motherhood. As it tends to do, it has also shone a light on step-motherhood. I am a stepmom of 3 adult stepchildren and the biological mother of 2 girls. We are clear about what moms SHOULD be. The ideal? Mothers are softness and strength, courage and […]

Stepmom and Stepdaughter Read more

Happy Mother’s Day to the Under-Defined Mother Figures Out There

I don’t have a word to use that articulates the kinship tie I share with my boyfriend’s daughter.  I’m simply “daddy’s girlfriend,” because at this point, only marriage can afford me a recognizable motherhood title like “stepmom.” But I am something to this child that reaches far beyond “daddy’s girlfriend.” I’m something under-defined, something society […]

Stepfamily Enjoying Outdoors Read more

Making the Most out of Mother’s Day

Oooooh it’s that time of year again where many stepmoms are looking inward to figure out their place in the home. For some, this day can be a day where they are pampered with gifts and with love.  While other stepmoms feel rejected and doubt themselves in their role in the family. For those stepmoms […]

Stepmom drawing a heart in the sand Read more

Journey to a Happy Heart

I recently asked the question on social media what words people associate with stepfamily, stepmom and step kids. It is incredible to me the amount of negative word associations with these phrases. Words came up like the other, difficult, adjustment, wicked, evil, different decisions, scary but fun, would I do this again, instant, and challenging. […]